the dilemma of the single woman

I don't much like how women's personalities get subsumed in relationships-- every time I see it, it irks me. not that I see it everywhere, in each case-- but the exceptions prove the rule. I see otherwise strong women pull back into themselves, defer to men-- I see myself in relation to men, defer to their somehow more innate authority-- and I don't like it. I don't like the combined complacency and flattening of women in relationships. in truth I like myself better spikey and spinning. there are times I crave the anchoring and smoothing, but at what cost? at the risk of making myself into a flat and stationary cutout object. in my heart I spin and spike and spur myself along. if I could be in a relationship that allowed and appreciated that... that would be something.